After lunch Beza and Wendemagegn and Beza had sat back down at the dining room table to finish school. We heard them chattering back and forth in Amharic and all of a sudden Beza’s face changed. I don’t remember if she was actually crying but Mark went over to see what was wrong. It was obvious it was something said between the two.
Wendemagegn finally sputtered out (he gets flustered when trying to explain when someone is in trouble).
“She said ‘I love Ethiopia.’ and I say ‘I am happy to go to America.”
So we reassured them that we WANT them to love Ethiopia and hope they will always love Ethiopia but that it is okay to be happy about going to America too.
Then, and I forget the exact words, but Beza tried to tell us that Wendemagegn said something mean about her loving Ethiopia to which he insisted he did not. So here we are trying to figure out the truth between the two of them.
We asked Wendemagegn to say “Sorry” to Beza for hurting her feelings and then he started to cry. We have been trying to explain that even if we do something by accident we still need to say “I’m sorry” to the other person (and then that person is to respond with “I forgive you.”) That whatever he had said had hurt her feelings and so he needed to apologize. He finally said sorry and she responded. Then we made Beza apologize for not telling the truth (her smirk gives her away) and Wendemagegn responded with “I forgive you.”
But when we asked them to hug it was obvious that Wendemagegn was still mad. So we tried to explain “forgive” and that it means we are not angry anymore and we let it go. Yeah, it’s kind of hard to explain that concept to someone with limited English 🙂 He did not want to hug and had not truly forgiven her. After a couple of minutes I took him in the other room and while I didn’t tell him what it was – I was basically giving him a “time in” which is kind of like a “time out” except for the parent stays there with the child. (It’s all about attachment issues.)
So we sat next to each other on the loveseat. He was on my right and he had his head turned about as far away from me as he could get it. He was NOT going to look at me. No moving, no flinching, no noise. Nothing… the Ethiopian pout.
After 5 minutes I asked if he was done being angry and ready to hug Beza. NO response.
I was thinking to myself “Fine buddy. I can stay here all day if you want 🙂 Take a little nap.”
After another 5 minutes I asked again and he decided he was ready. So we went back in, finished all our apologies, hugged and moved on.
He truly seemed fine after that, for which I’m glad. I was afraid we’d get the cold shoulder for awhile.
Apparently there is also the “Ethiopian Shoulder Shrug” which I am also waiting for 🙂