For those of you who have been around here for awhile, you’ve walked through some interesting times with me – the last of which was post-adoption depression that I wrote about here and here.
(If you’ve been around a REALLY long time you got to hear about my first episode of depression.)
Well, mostly because of my laziness in scheduling doctor’s appointments, I went off my anti-depressants about 3 months ago.
It’s this incredibly weird game I play called “Do I still need the pills? Maybe I’ll be fine without them.”
The problem is that the game sometimes takes a REALLY long time to play.
Because the signs are subtle, especially at first. Really it might seem like a really long case of PMS.
I’m irritable, I snap at the kids, I’m moody. Nothing sounds good to eat. And I lose all motivation to do ANYTHING.
But then it starts to effect my concentration and my creativity which in turn effects my job.
Then I get the whole “I don’t feel like me” thing going on.
And yet I still waffle back and forth. Is it bad enough to go back on the meds (and no, I don’t know what “bad enough” is – my definition might be entirely different than my husbands 🙂
I’m fortunate that I don’t have any side effects from the Wellbutrin but still, no one wants to put medicine in their body if it’s not needed.
But alas, it is needed and so I gave up the game.
And am back on what I lovingly refer to as “my happy pills”.
Sanity restored.