Julie Gumm - Author

30 Things I Know About Adoption: It Doesn’t Have to be Expensive

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2-NotExpensiveSince November is National Adoption Month I decided to do a series sharing “30 Things I Know About Adoption.” Come back each day for a new post. (Read all the 30 Things posts.)

“I’ve thought about adopting, but I could NEVER afford it.”

Ever said those words? Or thought them even?

Yes, some kinds of adoption are expensive – anywhere from $20,000-60,000.

But adoption can also be FREE when you adopt a waiting child from the U.S. foster care system.

There are over 104,000⁠ children in foster care waiting to be adopted, ranging in age from less than one-year-old to 21 years of age. It may seem strange to think of a 21-year-old looking for a family, but that just illustrates the importance of the love and security only a family can offer.

Unfortunately, stereotypes persist (partly thanks to the entertainment industry), and many people assume that children in the foster care system are juvenile delinquents.

The truth is that these children have been removed from their home through no fault of their own.

They may have been placed in the system for a myriad of reasons – neglect, abuse, parental imprisonment, or death of a parent(s). Will these circumstances have caused trauma for the child? Of course. Even if they didn’t suffer abuse or neglect, the solitary act of being removed from a parent’s care is traumatic. But that trauma will reside in every child who is ever adopted, no matter what the circumstance and no matter their age.  Infant adoption doesn’t bypass this, international adoption doesn’t bypass this. There is NO WAY around this.

Adopting from foster care is generally (with very few exceptions) completely free. Many states offer extra financial support such as free healthcare for the child or free in-state college tuition.

For more information on adopting from foster care, visit AdoptUSKids.org or the Dave Thomas Foundation.

Research
[1] “Meet the Children.” AdoptUSKids.org. Adopt US Kids, 2012. Web. 23 June 2013. <http://www.adoptuskids.org/meet-the-children>
[2] “Facts and Statistics.” CCAInstitute.org. Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute, n.d. Web. 23 June 2013. <http://www.ccainstitute.org/why-we-do-it-/facts-and-statistics.html>

30 Things I Know About Adoption: It’s Not Like the Movies

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It's Not Like the MoviesSince November is National Adoption Month I decided to do a series sharing “30 Things I Know About Adoption.” Come back each day for a new post. (Read all the 30 Things posts.)

Adoption is Not Like the Movies

Last year my friend Jen and I went to see “What to Expect” during a girl’s night out. The movie was great and super funny. But at some points our laughter wasn’t due to great comedic writing, but rather the gross discrepancies in how international adoption was portrayed. The movie features the story lines of several couples but Holly & Alex decide on adoption after struggling with infertility. One day they have a visit from the social worker and seemingly within a few weeks, poof, they have a referral call. Several weeks later, poof, they’re in Ethiopia waiting outside an orphanage to pick up their son, with A CARSEAT. At this point Jen and I are nearly peeing our pants at the absurdity. No one brings a car seat to Ethiopia. No one even wears seat belts in Ethiopia. International adoption is NOT a 3 month process.

Then of course there’s the movie “Annie” which forever destined every orphan to expected, or at least hoped, their adoptive parents would be Daddy Warbucks. One of my children admitted several years after coming home, that they thought they were coming to America to live in a mansion with a pool.

On the other end of the spectrum are horror movies like “The Orphan.”

When it’s not making orphans out to be homicidal maniacs, mainstream Hollywood tends to glamorize adoption and wrap it up in neat little packages.

I get that everyone wants a happy ending, but please don’t base your ideas about adoption on the movies.

  • Adoption is hard.
  • Adoption is a LONG process.
  • Adoptive kids will not thank you for “rescuing them.”
  • The process is unpredictable.

We’re going to address a ton of these issues this month so I hope you’ll come back!