Julie Gumm - Author

The Complaint Department

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I can’t think of a single parent that doesn’t hate tattletelling.

With four kids, refereeing can seem like a full time occupation – one I am not interested in having.

We’ve always tried to stress the “try to solve it yourself” method with our kids. At first it was because it made our lives easier and it’s a skill they need to learn. But it dawned on me when Noah was about 5 that this was the biblical model of conflict resolution us adults are taught.

If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. Matthew 18:15-16

So in our house the rule is you have to talk to that person first. If they won’t listen, apologize, etc then you can involve a parent. There is still a moderate amount of tattletelling that goes on. Mostly because someone will be doing something annoying and the other sibling will say “stop” and the first child keeps doing it and so the second child yells “Maaaawwwwmmmmm” all within a span of about 30 seconds.

Not exactly what I was talking about.

But the other day I was thumbing through the Thriving Family magazine from Focus on the Family and stumbled on someone’s GENIUS idea!

She makes her kids file a WRITTEN complaint. Only then will she review it. She said that most of the time when they’re reminded of the policy they decide it’s not worth it. The blurb didn’t go into too much detail about what she requires on her kid’s complaint but I was already drafting a form in my head and doing that slightly evil, yet motherly, “I’ve got you now my pretties” laugh.

It’s not done yet but it’s going to include the following.

Your name______________________________

My conflict is with _________________________

He/she __________________________________ (what is conflict)

I did ______________________________________ (cuz it’s never just one persons fault)

I tried to resolve the conflict by ________________________________________

What I want to happen to resolve the conflict is _________________________________

I AM MOM, HEAR ME ROAR!!!

Blessings in Broken Teeth & Hailstorms

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A couple of weeks ago while in Ethiopia Mark sent me an email message saying he had a toothache.

It was the catalyst I needed to schedule long-overdue dentists appointments for everyone. (Side note: Scheduling dentists appointments for 6 people will take no less than 45 minutes on the phone and will occupy 3 different days on your calendar.)

They got Mark in for an appointment the day after his return from Ethiopia – 2 days before he left for Haiti.

The verdict was one broken tooth and one cracked tooth. Mark then realized that it probably happened while dining on some tibs in Ethiopia – that thing he bit wasn’t “just gristle” – it was sheep bone.

The cost? $1100.

Both he and I also needed deep, numb-your-mouth, empty-your-wallet type cleanings. The kind that insurance doesn’t fully cover. Of course. The price you pay for procrastination.

$1,800 in dental work is not exactly what I dream of spending our emergency fund on. Hm, nothing I ever need to spend it on is really a dream is it. Okay, never mind.

But the beauty of having that emergency fund is that you get to react like I did when I heard the bill.

“Really? Dang, that sucks. Oh well. Guess we’ll take it out of the emergency fund.”

And it’s done.

And then something beautiful happens, in a weird way that makes you smile….

A few weeks ago Phoenix had a pretty good hailstorm with golf-ball sized hail. My MIL actually called me to make sure the kids weren’t playing outside lest they be knocked down dead 🙂

Their house got pounded. But there was not one SINGLE piece of hail where we live.

Mark’s car, however, was parked at their house because they live close to the airport. And yes, it received hail damage in the storm.

You’re probably saying “Wait, that’s MORE bad news!”

But it’s not really. You see the one nice thing about hail damage is that your insurance company assesses the damage, writes up the estimate, subtracts your deductible and CUTS YOU A CHECK. It’s up to you whether or not you fix the car with the money.

And since we pretty much drive our cars until they die, we figure someone looking to buy a $2000 Camry with 200,000+ miles is so NOT going to care about hail damage.

Total amount of our hail damage?

$1,800

After our deductible that gave us $1,300.

Now some people might chalk it up to coincidence or being lucky, but honestly, we’ve seen it happen too many times to do that anymore.

Obviously it’s not that we were unable to pay for the dental work, but to us it’s like a little hug from God saying, “I see what you’re doing. I see the financial choices you’ve made. This is my blessing.”

Conference Reflections Day 1

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I find myself really at a loss for words as to how to describe the last 3 days. I have cried abundant tears and laughed until my sides hurt. I have been angered, saddened and encouraged all at the same time. To say the Together for Adoption Conference was a roller coaster of emotions would be an understatement.

But the ride was amongst an AMAZING community. Hundreds of people indescribably passionate about the orphan. While we are fortunate to have friends and family who understand our passion and support us I know there were many at T4A who spend most of their time feeling alienated because of their strong passion. How amazing for us all to come together and support and encourage one another.

Worship with this group was goose bump-inducing. The Holy Spirit was there – fully present – as Aaron Ivey led us to the throne in worship so many times during the two days. I will totally cop to crying – like full on, can’t-sing-a-word UGLY crying! It was beautiful (the worship, NOT my face). And I know I wasn’t the only one. Thank you Aaron and band!

I have so many thoughts to share from the conference that I know it will probably be several posts worth.

Today I’m going to camp on this one.

“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.”
Psalms 68:5

The verse is not a new revelation. In fact as an orphan community it’s one of our favorites. But on Saturday Robert Gelanis of Colorado Community Church said something that made so many of us go “Wow!”

If God is father to the fatherless then that means he is a husband.

Who is his bride?

The church.

That means the church is the mother of the fatherless.

Of course we know that as a church we need to be caring for the orphan, no one was clueless on that. But to put it in that perspective was like a light bulb going on.

God is not father to SOME of the fatherless. He is a father to all of them.

So how, as the church, are we going to become a mother to ALL of them.

Not some. All.