Julie Gumm - Author

Three Precious Gifts – Guest Post by Michelle Benner

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During National Adoption Month you’ll get to hear from some amazing people. Today’s guest post is from Michelle Benner, a pastor’s wife and adoptive mom.

When my husband, Phil and I got married, we had already decided that we would probably adopt and have biological children if we could.  But for some reason, I had this feeling in the back of my mind that we would probably not be able to get pregnant.

We intentionally waited awhile (6 years) before trying to start a family, and after about a year we had some basic infertility tests done and everything came back fine…I honestly was not that surprised, or even necessarily upset, although it would have been nice to have an “answer”.   So we took it as our cue to start looking into adoption and decided to go throughBethany Christian Services for a domestic adoption.

Our case worker told us we should find a placement within 6-12 months, possibly less.  As it turned out, the agency had just placed a lot of babies and just didn’t have many birth moms coming in for counseling.  So we waited.  And waited.  And waited some more.  It was tough – I was nannying part time for some friends from church, but I really just wanted to be home with a baby of my own.  My biological clock was definitely ticking – by this time we had been married over 8 years and I was 33 years old.  And of course it felt like all my friends were having babies….sigh.

Almost exactly six months after our home study was completed I got an email from a friend in MI who I hadn’t seen or heard from in a couple years (we lived in Chicago).  She said she wanted me to call her…..kinda weird, but right away I just knew it had to be about a baby.  I called her and sure enough, a couple she went to church with was taking care of their 7 mos. old granddaughter and trying to convince their daughter (the birth mom) to let the baby be adopted.
My friend knew we were in the process of adopting but didn’t know what was going on.  I told her we were approved and waiting and that we would be interested in this little girl.  So my friend gave the grandma my phone number and she called me – the ONLY reason she even agreed to talk to me is because we were already approved through Bethany and that is who she was planning to do the adoption with!
Just a week or so later we were going to be driving back to PA to visit our families for Christmas so we took a little detour to Lansing and met the grandparents and baby.  It was kinda crazy because at this point the agency was not involved, we were just meeting on our own at their house and had no idea what each other was thinking….but we were pretty captivated by this adorable little girl.  It was kind of hard going through the holidays not knowing if she was going to become our daughter, yet I did sort of have a peace and confidence that she was going to be joining our family.
Thankfully, through only God’s ways of making things happen, we were then able to bring our Arianna home the beginning of February!  She has been such a blessing, and little did we know that just 9 months later we would be bringing home her full biological baby brother, Nathaniel.  He was 7 months old – they are only 11 months apart – and we knew their birth mom was pregnant with him from the beginning but we had no idea what might happen.  We’re so glad that God did!  Nate is an awesome little guy and we’re so blessed by him.
But, our story doesn’t end there….last Spring (2011), 2 weeks after Nate turned 2 and before Ari turned 3, we found out a baby sister was born.  Whoa, what??  We had no idea this time that their birth mom was even pregnant.  We were not feeling ready to add to the family again.   But things were got held up in the legal system and after about 7 mos. we felt like we could not say no….we had to give this baby the chance to grow up with her siblings.  So we agreed to take her and hoped we might bring her home a couple months later, around the beginning of the year.  But because of legal stuff (ugh!!) we just brought her home in September, when she was 16 months old.  Her name is Alethea (greek for “truth”), we call her Lea.  She is adorable and her big brother and sister love her.
We cannot believe how blessed we are, to have been given these three precious gifts.  When I look back on it, I know our story is kinda crazy….but I’m so thankful it is our story and I would not trade it for anything.  People sometimes say that our kids are so lucky to have us but they definitely have it backwards!  Parenting is definitely a challenge but for sure the biggest blessing I have ever been given.
Phil & Michelle Benner live in Wellsboro, PA.  Phil is an Assistant Pastor at their church and Michelle is a stay at home mom, is involved with the local MOPS group, and when she has a few minutes of free time enjoys reading, knitting and sleeping.  🙂

Adoption: Waiting on the Lord – Guest Post by Kim Barker

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During National Adoption Month you’ll get to hear from some amazing people. Today’s guest post is from Kim Barker, a coaches wife and adoptive mom to one, waiting on number two. She blogs at The Home Team.

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I’m waiting
I will serve You
While I’m waiting
I will worship
While I’m waiting
I will not faint
I’ll be running the race
Even while I wait

I just love a very powerful, strong song full of meaningful lyrics. I came across this song a few weeks ago and it hit my heart in so many ways. We are all longing for something in our lives…for something to change…for something to be added….or relieved. Each of us has a walk, a journey. At times it might be a difficult path but we must keep walking and taking steps in obedience and faith.

I’ve gotten quite a few questions lately about our second adoption. Well, the above song sums it pretty nicely. We are waiting. Obediently, faithfully, running the race, worhsipping. Only God knows our steps of our path and where and how it will turn out.

Next month will mark a year of waiting to get on the list. It’s been a good year. A very solid year. Coach and I have both grown so much in our walk with Christ – as has Little Man as well. We’ve learned a lot about ourselves and the meaning of family. (Shout out to our families in the north – we miss you!) For whatever the reasoning, we are still waiting. I try not to speculate the whys and why nots, but rest in the faith of God that His time is not our time.

We hold fast to promises.

We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps. Prov 16:9
You need to perservere so that when you have done the will of God, you will recieve what has been promised. Heb 10:36
I will surely bless you and give you many descendants. Heb 6:14

For those who wonder, our hearts are not aching nor unfulfilled. We have the joyous love of Little Man who completes us in so many ways. His laugh brings us joy, his smile makes my heart smile and his playful banter keeps me young at heart. When and if it is God’s will to add to our family, it will be a day of rejoicing and dancing.

Until then, we run the race.

How Will My Biological Children Be Affected By Adoption? – Guest Post by Tracie Loux

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During National Adoption Month you’ll get to hear from some amazing people. Today’s guest post is from Tracie Loux, adoption consultant, educator and mom to 7.

I’ve had families ask me recently, and understandably so, how adoption will impact their biological children. I think that perhaps there is this fear of whether it will disrupt their sense of security, or short change them in some way. It’s funny though, I don’t remember wondering that when I was pregnant with child number three. I don’t remember thinking, “What if the boys feel short changed? What if I can’t give them all that they need? What if they feel put out or left out?”

So I wonder why we think that when it comes to adoption. Adding a child to a family is simply adding a child to a family. I’m not underestimating the difficulty that comes with adopting children who are hurt and wounded. It’s hard work. But this post is not about that. This post is about loving and growing.

This post is about children gaining siblings, learning to love in deeper ways and growing into incredible human beings.

The three beautiful people above have done just that. They opened their hearts, sacrificed personal space and quiet moments, and they have loved extravagantly. We have done our best to make sure to give each of our children quality one on one time, to respect them as individuals in the midst of a large family, and to encourage them to have personal time and experiences to follow their dreams and develop their talents.

We function as a family and love as a family, every one pitches in, not always joyfully, but we do it. It’s what families do. Families love and care for each other.

Several months ago, we were on the porch sitting with our three Oldest while the three Littles played in the backyard, and we were talking about how the Littles have changed all of our lives. I was overwhelmed with love as I heard my Olders talk about how the Littles have caused them to be better people, more capable adults, more loving, more giving, less selfish, and more qualified for adulthood and someday parenthood.

After a long talk, they shouted out to the Littles, “HEY GUYS, THANKS FOR MAKING US BETTER PEOPLE.”

And as a mom, I’d like to shout from the rooftop, “HEY NICK, TAYLOR, AND ISABELLE, thanks for loving well, giving big, and making ME a better person!”

Tracie is an adoption educator and consultant. She is the mother to 7 incredible children: 3 by birth and 4 through adoption. Their children are Nicholas (19), Taylor (15), Isabelle (13), Aiden (5), Emma (4), Elia (4), and Matthias (born 10/20/10) Elia was adopted her in the United States and has been with us since birth, March ’07. Aiden and Emma were born in Ukraine and became our children officially on March 6, 2009. Matthias was adopted domestically.

www.christianadoptionconsultants.com
www.thespiritofadoption.wordpress.com
Family Blog: www.tracieloux.wordpress.com